To Do List

Asalamu Alaikum,

I got my blog back, Allhamdulilah.

I made a list of things I need to do before I get busy again. I have too much time.

1. Catch up on reading.
2. Research/buy good fiqh books
3. Memorize Surah Ya-sin
4. Learn to make mouth watering biryani
5. Prepare halaqa topic
6. Start knitting ( stop laughing !)
7. Download adobe photoshop and learn how to use
8. Study for SAT
9. Hijab shopping
10. Hair trimmed
11. Clear/ re organize art drawer
12. Bake pies for saturday evening.

Alot of this can be done this week, some will take time, and others are their as time fillers. Allhamdulilah...I hope I can stay productive and resist laziness.

I found this to be pretty...

Give me a chance
To search for roads where
I have never walked with you,
For seats
Where I have never sat with you.
For places
That have no memory of you.

Poetry is so strange, a few simple words can describe a myriad of complex emotions.

Fi AmanAllah

Asalamu Alaikum,

I went to an Aqiqa yesterday within the compound I live in. It was really nice because the sisters I befriended recently were there. One upsetting aspect was how the sister of the guy who abused my lil sister was present and being EXTREMELY rude in an indirect way. I was extremely shocked, as what does she have to be upset and rude about? She should be ashamed and apologetic. SubhanAllah, people have changed so much in this dunya. Just because our family didn’t cower in front of them, its like were the most horrible people.

This same girl had apparently told all the other little girls to be as rude as possible to my sis. Throughout the Aqiqa my sister sat on my lap with tears rolling down her eyes. When I confronted the girl about what she did, she got so abusive with her language. I was just like “Don’t be a coward, face me if you have an issue. Don’t mess with my sister.” Sigh.

“And be patient with what they say, and keep away from them in a good way. And leave Me alone with those Beliers, those who are in possession of good things of life. And give them respite for awhile.” (10.73)

In Surah An Nas, it is mentioned how there are Shayateen among Jinn and mankind. For the first time in my life I have encountered numerous Shaitan’s, and it breaks my heart how horribly they behave with us, just b/c were not liberal and crazy like them. At the end of the day, it’s the haqq that shows through and Al Hayul Al Qayoom is there, and that’s solace. This is Dunya…and Jannah is not attainable unless you bleed tears from every pore. Allhamdulilah.

“(The same) who whispers into the breasts of Mankind, - Among Jinn and Men.”(An-Nas, 6)

Anywho…I’m going to a cute Saudi Farm tomorrow inshaAllah. They’ll have little huts and lambs and baby cows. There will be Bedouin women, who apply black henna to your hands and their designs are extremely delicate and unique, and the henna is completely black. It’s supposed to be extremely green and beautiful, I’m really excited! I’ll post pictures inshaAllah! : )

It’s so very chilly here; I’m in love with it. It reminds me of home, back in ohio when me and my brother would purposely stay up after fajr and sneak downstairs to make tea. (We weren’t allowed to have it) and sit outside in the freezing morning fog, all the time keeping our ears perked up to hear if a parent was coming down. Hehe…

Fi AmanAllah

Gradumacation

Asalamu Alaikum,

Wow...I have no future right now. I'm in a limbo and inshaAllah i'll get into a college soon, where? I have no idea, when? No clue...but what to do till than?

A. Sleep
B. Sleep
C. Sleep

Hmmmm, not sure. :(

I thought gradumacating from high school would be the most amazing thing ever. But since I have nothing ahead..than. Oh well.

Seriously though, I'm thinking of starting arabic classes again and sign up for swimming lessons. I can see myself right now...swimming lessons...loll. :P

Khair, I was flipping through some stuff I had and this hadith struck me. I would always feel the same way, that its usually the most wacky people who, when they embrace deen or come back they're the MOST amazing and most active in their deen mashaAllah.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: "People are like mines of silver and gold; the best of them in the days of Ignorance (jahilliyah) are the best of them in Islam when they attain knowledge" (Muslim).

I suppose the key phrase their is "when they attain knowledge".

Anyways, I'm going crazy go nuts making dua night and day that Allah(swt) make me pure enough to feel content with life right now. I feel guilty over my restlessness. It can't be a good thing to feel this way.

O Allah, indeed I ask of you, guidance, piety and chastity and to be free of depending on anyone execept you. Ameen Ya Rabb.

In other news: My little sister ruined my most favorite black hijaab. I've had it since forever and she smeared bubble gum all over it. Please make dua. Innil Ilahi wa Innil Ilayhi rajioon.

Fi AmanAllah

p.s. This comic is so horrible, but I think the drawings are sooo cute. awww.
http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shorty.shtml

In a wakeful doze I sorrow...

Asalamu Alaikum,

I found this extremely helpful in the past few months with the trials Allah(swt) bestowed, especially now. InshaAllah others can find use for it also. :) I bolded the parts that I believe TRULY work…SuhbhanAllah.

15 Ways to Dispel Worries and Regrets

Ibn al-Qayyim summed fifteen ways through which Allaah may dispel worries and regret. These are as follows:

1- Tawheed al-Ruboobiyyah (belief in the Oneness of Divine Lordship)

2- Tawheed al-Uloohiyyah (belief in the Oneness of the Divine nature)

3- Tawheed of knowledge and belief (i.e., Tawheed al-Asma’ wa’l_Sifaat, belief in the Oneness of the Divine names and attributes)

4- Thinking of Allaah as being above doing any injustice to His slaves, and above punishing anyone for no cause on the part of the slave that would require such punishment.

5- The person’s acknowledging that he is the one who has done wrong.

6- Beseeching Allaah by means of the things that are most beloved to Him, which are His names and attributes. Two of His names that encompass the meanings of all other names and attributes are al-Hayy (the Ever-Living) and al-Qayyoom (the Eternal).

7- Seeking the help of Allaah Alone.

8- Affirming one's hope in Him.

9- Truly putting one’s trust in Him and leaving matters to Him, acknowledging that one's forelock is in His hand and that He does as He wills, that His will is forever executed and that He is just in all that He decrees.

10-Letting one's heart wander in the garden of the Qur’aan, seeking consolation in it from every calamity, seeking healing in it from all diseases of the heart, so that it will bring comfort to his grief and healing for his worries and distress.

11-Seeking forgiveness.

12-Repentance.

13-Jihad.

14-Salaah (prayer). (esp. Qiyaam ul Layl)

15-Declaring that he has no power and no strength, and leaving matters to the One in Whose hand they are.



We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound from worries and to relieve us of distress and anxiety, for He is the All-Hearing, Ever-Responsive, and He is the Ever-Living, Eternal.

And Allaah knows best. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

Fi AmanAllah

Asalamu Alaikum

Asalamu Alaikum,

Apparently I need to sort out my thoughts. InshaAllah I hope this turns into a productive blog which can be of some use to others, especially myself.

May Allah(swt) keep you all safe from despair and ingratitude. Ameen


Fi AmanAllah

Bye Bye to Another Desire

Asalamu Alaikum,

I’ve stopped becoming surprised at my fate. SuhbhanAllah. :)

Here I was, ready for my interview with the International Islamic University of Islamabad, ready for 3 years of intensive deen study, ready to pursue what I’ve been dreaming about for 4 years…and Allah(swt) again…had something different planned for me.

It is said when the very FIRST wave of grief strikes you is when you should say Innil Ilahi wa Innil ilayhi rajioon. It is that first blow that shakes your very core that has the most immense ajjar for resisting and remembering the Most High.

I’ve found that I have many likes and desires, but it is only what I desire with all my heart and soul that is always always taken away from me. What I struggle for the most, is what is conveniently slipped out of my reach. And everytime it involved obeying my parents over obeying my desire. :)

Life is just one test after another, and what is a test if were not tested with things that would truly make us struggle? That would cloud our reasoning with emotions and sorrow? I thought since I was pursuing deen that nothing could stop me as long as I kept making dua and working hard. Truly Allah(swt) tests to separate the true from the false.

Khair, Sabr is most befitting for me on top of everything else. I pray that Allah(swt) gives me what is best for me and helps me become pure enough to pursue attainment of Ilm.

Word of Advice: Be careful of what you desire, no matter how pure of a desire it may be. This dunya is a trial in which all your desires are lined up and knocked over, one by one until you despair from Allah(swt) Mercy, or raise yourself above them and look towards Allah(swt) to decide your desires.

“And you cannot escape in the earth or in the heaven (from Allah). And besides Allah you have neither any Protector nor any Helper.” ( 29.22)

“So whatever you have been given is but (a passing) enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allah (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord (concerning all of their affairs).

May Allah(swt) grant us the ability to submit to His Will completely. (42.36)

Fi AmanAllah